


Prom queen

by Spookylimbs



Series: Richie tozier comedy career [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Gay Richie Tozier, I can't believe that's an actual tag on this, M/M, Other losers are mentioned briefly, Richie Tozier's Stand Up Act, based on a tik tok, blink and you'll miss it Benverly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 13:03:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21636859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spookylimbs/pseuds/Spookylimbs
Summary: A segment from "Childhood Trauma (Thanks, Maine!) © Netflix and Richie "Trashmouth" Tozier2018
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: Richie tozier comedy career [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559620
Kudos: 149





	Prom queen

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a tik tok I cannot for the life of me find, but it's part of the prom au hashtag over there. This is dumb and unbetad, but that's all of my writing on this sight. Slight au, all the losers leave Derry after highschool, and when they come back they fight the clown but nobody dies.

So I'm going to tell a little story from my senior year of high school, because to this day, the level of coordination behind the shit that went down at my senior prom impresses me. Now, the story itself is pretty depressing, but I promise I'll fit a few dick jokes or something in there to make it bearable. So I had no intention of going to prom, I was planning on getting stoned with my friends and throwing a party for the seven of us. Then my friend Bev said she was gonna go with her boyfriend, who was also part of our gaggle of dweebs. And then a few of my other friends were able to score dates, so most of us were going to prom. The only ones without dates was me, and my friend Eddie. Yes this is the same Eddie I'm engaged to, because when he found out I was the only one in our group not planning on going, he said and I quote "you're a pussy then Tozier, and my mother isn't into pussy". Keep in mind that bickering is essentially flirting between the two of us, because I immediately agreed to go due to the fact I was obnoxiously in love with him.

The way prom tickets worked at our shitty little high school was they sold them two weeks in advance, for one day. After school they set up this shitty table that looked like it was about to collapse, and took record of every single person that bought a ticket, and whether or not they were bringing a date. Before you say, why did they care if you had a date, this was a small Christian town in the nineties, it was just like that. So everyone at our entire school knew if you were going to prom, and if you had a date. This means the kids who regularly beat me up and spray painted slurs on my locker knew for a fact I was going to be at prom. Flash forward to prom night, I'm in a shitty rental tux, because I didn't want to spend any more of my weed money on a dance I didn't even want to go to. 

So I get to prom, and on the way in, they had these little ballot boxes set up to vote for prom queen and king. I filled out my little paper slip and went to go find a deserted corner to drink in. Some of you may be wondering why I wasn't dancing, and the reason was that not a single girl at that school would be caught dead dancing with me. Bev probably would, but her and Ben were off being cute so I couldn't interrupt that. I mean it was fine by me, it made it a lot easier to pretend I was into girls when I knew my flirting would go nowhere. I saw Eddie get dragged into dancing with this one girl, and then I proceeded to spike the punch by accident. I mean, the punch was already spiked, so it didn't matter all that much, but I was still pissed my nice whiskey got ruined by some shitty kool aid. 

As our "magical" night went on, Stan, who I've known since I could walk pretty much, tells me that I need to stop moping and at least try to have some fun. Before I could escape the hell that was the awkward single people part of the dance floor, they announced our prom queen. And wouldn't you know they elected me as prom queen. I do mean prom queen by the way, the king was Bev. This was a really shitty thing to do, as Bev had short hair at the time, and as I said before I got beat up a lot. Somehow some jackass managed to convince our entire senior class, even the ones who really wanted to win, to throw all of that away for a joke. Like I said, I'm still impressed they managed to pull this bullshit off.

I get dragged up on stage, and they give me my sash and shitty plastic tiara, and they give Bev her crown. After that we had to slow dance together, because it was a tradition, and we were laughed at through the whole thing. The one upside to this was that the queen and king got a special page in the yearbook. You may be wondering, why the fuck would my shame being immortalized in my yearbook make me happy?

It meant that our shitty little conservative town had to deal with the fact that they had a male prom queen. Every single faculty member showed up to class that monday, tired, slightly hungover, and on the verge of snapping whenever prom was mentioned. In short, our school accidentally became the most progressive school in Maine that year, and any and all people looking at school records from when I was a student, had to confirm that one thing I achieved in highschool was being elected prom queen. That is my legacy now, the only gay prom queen, and the only male prom queen our school has ever had. Which makes my fiance queen consort of small town gays, and me our kingdoms elected leader. Oh, so that's what the internet means when they call me a gay icon!


End file.
